We've been in the same class for donkey's years, and yet it's only now that I really begin to understand who you are.
When we were 13 and 14, I never really knew you. You were just the kid sitting behind me, the one teachers always tirelessly chased for homework that never appeared on their desks (actually, they still do! AHAHA). The one who knew everything and could switch from English to Chinese like a radio switches from one channel to another. The one who had a wacky, off-tangent sense of humour (by the way, you STILL do. Only now, it's worse! :D).
When we moved on, though, I guess it was because we were one of the few people from 207 that ended up in 309 together. I began to get to know you a little better, and then eventually we became good friends. We spent a lot of time bickering about weirdo stuff (I don't know. You remind me. What useless conversations do we normally have? The Babaland thing?) and arguing about things that actually matter (e.g. homosexuality--but let's not go there). We also ended up doing more things together (e.g. like all those SIAs--Physics, LA, Chinese, uh...). We had our little, uh, clique--you, me, Stella, Jingyi. I don't know about you, but I started seeing the four of us as a block unit. I mean, Stella, Jingyi and I sit together and everything and you don't, but you're always in the vicinity (HAHA) and we still do a lot of stuff as a block unit (LIKE CHINESE SIA). And you always end up somewhere in our conversations, anyway. (:
I guess it's because I've recently been going through a lot, and I tend to rant about them. You should know I'm the sort of person who needs to let things out, so naturally I tell the people I trust about the bad stuff that happen to me. It seems that I'm doing a lot of taking and very little giving--I always tell you all the bad stuff in my life, and you always end up trying to make me feel better (like on Friday--thanks for that). You have this weird way of laughing everything off, which makes me feel better for a while. But you never tell me about your problems, or at least the bigger ones (or if you do, OMG I'M SORRY NEVER LISTEN PROPERLY!). But I don't think you do. It seems like I'm always relying on you and you're never relying on me--or anyone, for that matter.
When I was in 207 with you I thought you were the cold heartless kind. I'm serious--I thought you were very evil. :D Because you never seemed to emo or anything. But I've realized that you're very soft inside (SORRY--very "uhhh" way to put it, but I can't think of anything else!) and you care a lot for the people around you. On Friday, your trying to comfort me helped a lot. I never knew when I was in 207 that you were like that. I suppose you have to take the time to get to know people better before you understand their layers. People are like onions, remember. (:
I read your blog (honestly--you have the most random of thoughts!). I just realized that you probably have your ups and downs too. I never knew, because you never really showed it. Maybe they're not HALF as dramatic as mine (me drama queen) but they may be equally draining. I know you sleep at weird morning hours and wake up at ungodly moments. I don't know why, but you just do and sometimes you seem awfully exhausted in school. Dunno how you do it.
I think what I want to say is, I'm relying a lot on you now, so if you like, you can rely on me. I don't know if I'm the most reliable of people (or indeed the kindest), but I know I would want to help you if I could. If you need notes or help with homework (but you smart lah!) or my printer (never mind the number of pages, my printer damn pro one k), just ask. If you have any ups and downs in your life and you want to talk things out, I can listen (but I can't comfort people to save my life, so sorry ah). And thanks for everything--for being there and for being a great friend.
And in case you're wondering, Jennifer can be very mushy when she wants to be, you know. (:
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PROFILE
this is where i let rip, so be warned that you might not like everything that pops up here. but i do, so deal with it. (: .
loves
this is so subject to change that i'm not even gonna bother listing them down.
hates
too many, and the list would be extremely volatile, anyway.
wants
a place in Oxford University (good luck, jennifer.)
for someone to know that he has a special place in her heart!
to survive in HCJC next year
not to have so many wants (but who's counting?)